Friday, December 09, 2005


Between Sunday when it happened and the funeral on Tuesday, my cell phone activity soared. It seemed people from every different phase of my life found out and immediately became concerned for me and called to tell me they love me and just to be there on the phone with me for even a second or two. It was so overwhelming and overwhelmingly comforting, that I have actually lost track of everyone I spoke with.

In the midst of all that I was on and off the phone with Jason Edwards for hours. He was in Atlanta (Georgia, in case you were wondering,) visiting Christy's family one last time before they left for France, but really wanted to be here with me. He asked if I wanted him there. My response was something like-- I do, but I don't want you to have to go through all the trouble, and, no, don't, you need to be with your family but, yeah, it would be really good if you were here, but, no, absolutely not, it's too much money for a short notice flight, yeah why don't you come on, no, yes, no. I don't remember everything I said or even what was decided but I remember crying.

For the past few years I have had three very close friends: Tim, Jason, and Kyle. All close to me, just acquaintances with each other. Tim got married and moved to Germany. Jason and Christy have been in the process of moving to France for several months, and have just arrived. People realized over the summer that the fall would be difficult for me, but the implied comforting statement was "Well, at least Kyle is still around."

And then the implication became null and void.

After visitation on Monday I came back home to write the eulogy I gave. Several people came over so when I finished I went into the lving room to be present with them and to allow them to be present with me.

Into the dor came Daniel from Dallas, Blake and Karla from San Marcos, and Jason from Georgia. A weight lifted, and I lost it.

More than he knows, Jason's presence during those days helped keep me keep floating.

His presence in my life for the past, what, 7 years, has meaned more than he will ever comprehend. In Jason I have someone who gets me, whose laughter makes me laugh, and who I miss dearly.

Happy Birthday Jason, and wake up already, breakfast is getting cold.

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