At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. .. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal
space, it can be exactly what you need.
--Meredity Grey, from Grey's
At the end of my day, my very shitty day taking care of the needs of some very inconsiderate people for such little pay, a day that saw me begin to get sick both physically and emotionally, one that perhaps marked the beginning of the end for my once invincible car... you know, just one of those days... at the end of this day these words from a fictional intern at a fictional Seattle hospital have become my gospel.
We just want to be close to someone. At times, anyone will do. But usually we want the people we have chosen, Our People, near us. With us. Personal space be damned.
If you've read long enough, you know the story. I moved to Waco in 2000, spent a few years job hopping, then landed at one that (at one point) made me very happy. I've been many different people. I've been the fat guy, the skinny guy, and, now, the in-between guy. I've been an Uncle Dan's man, then Michna's, and back again...and again. I've loved Baylor, then hated it, then tolerated it, then respected it, but from a safe distance. I've taken many turns.
Yet the one constant as been the group of people I've chosen to cast my lot with. In the early days I was center-section, fourth or fifth row. It wasn't too long before I was center-section, front row. Kyle, Jen, Me. Then tragedy struck and I didn't know who I'd be. I became the people I always admired from a distance... the stage left people. Phil and Lance and Ann and Chris and that whole cool-Austin-bound crew, I filled their place.
But really, it doesn't matter. Put me where you will put me, but make sure I am close to those I have chosen... because it's all I really need right now.
I've talked about leaving. And some of my talk wasn't joking. I'm not always happy there. Some things just plain piss me off. I had a conversation with a guy today who, in essence, offered me an amazing opportunity, but I'd have to leave.
I'd have to leave.
Not, "I'd get to leave" or "I would leave," but, in my mind, "I'd HAVE to leave."
And, of course, my mind went to Thursday night Grey's night and Friday Happy Hour and "Where are we going to eat lunch after church," and, most of all, to three little kids who dance around my heart every single day... and it was a no brainer. Perhaps, sometime in the future. It's possible I won't be here forever. But I'm here now and it is what it is. I have chosen the people I want to be close to.
I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined church could be like this.
Reason #7, and the last reason, I love this town-- Was there ever any doubt where this was headed?