I was going to use this space to create humor around my Friday night by sharing all I have done since leaving work at 4:00 this afternoon. The funny part was going to be in how colossally unexciting it was, while pretending, by a sarcastic writing demeanor, that it has been one of the most monumental evenings in the history of my life. In it I would have shared how, upon finding out that none of my Happy Hour crew would be in town, I decided to screw it and headed to La Fiesta anyway for a Dos and chips. I then would have described in great poetic detail how I headed home, fed the dogs, then sat on the couch to try and take a nap while the evening news played in the background (NBC with Brian Williams,) but instead flipped over and watched an episode a piece of Everybody Loves Raymond and Friends. I would have then shared about my decision to embrace the boredom and settle in to the evening by watching the E! True Hollywood story of Seinfeld. Since every good story needs a little conflict, I would have been dramatic about noticing that my cell phone was about to run out of power, and since I left the plug-in charger back home at Christmas and have been relying on the small sliver of time I'm in my car during the day for it to charge, it then became necessary for me to get in my car and drive somewhere to have enough power for the phone to last through the morning so my alarm clock (which is the actual phone) would go off and I wouldn't be late for work. The plan was to describe my decision that I needed a few things from the grocery store anyway, and the several blocks it would take to get to Fiesta, my new grocery store of choice, would be plenty to provide adequate charge for said need to wake up in the morning, and how I went. I was then going to get real funny on your asses by sharing everything that was on my receipt, like this:
Your Checker Today is Griselda (Seriously, even though the purpose of my
story would have been humor, this name was
not made up.)
*Munchy Dog Strips 1.99 T
Zatarains Jumbalaya Sausage Meal 3.49
Coffee Creamer 1.89
Ojarascas 1 lb. 1.89
Knowing you would have been on the floor laughing at this point, I would have put the dagger in and sealed the deal of success by sharing how I used the three quarters I received back for change to put in one of those machines (which are probably illegal, like other things at Fiesta-- ooh!, that was low) where you drop a quarter in that lands on a bed of quarters and you pray the quarter you drop causes an avalanche of quarters to flow over into your hands, and how out of the three quarters I used, I actually got one of them back and how considering it was worth around $.50 of enjoyment, then I actually believed I had WON a quarter, rather than losing two.
That's what I was going to do, because I felt like you would have enjoyed it.
I instead decided to forego the bravado and just share with you that I have had a very pleasant Friday night doing not much of anything, enjoying a couple of well timed conversations with old friends over the phone, and am excited it's almost 10:00 and I will be able to get a good eight hours of sleep before heading back to work.
*The receipt doesn't actually read "Munchy Dog Strips," but rather Munchy Strps. Believing you lacked enough context to decipher the true meaning of Munchy Strps I decided to lengthen the item to it's appropriate words.
I should also define Ojarascas. These are tiny little cinnamon cookies that are available in most Mexican-themed markets here in town. They are quite tasty.
EDIT: I can't believe I just posted this and didn't share the actual funniest thing I was thinking about placing in the post. Somewhere I was going to slip in the comment that I'm considering nominating myself for a contest the Waco Tribune Herald is putting on to find Central Texas' Hottest bachelor. This would have been so subtle you may would have missed it. I would have tried to make the implication that if it was discovered that I am, in fact, the hottest bachelor in Central Texas, then perhaps my Friday night would have looked a little different.