I give you strange things you may or may not know about me.
-- When using the urinal in a public restroom, it is impossible for me to pee without first spitting in the urinal. It's been like that for years and I'm not quite sure why it started.
-- As has recently been mentioned, I've been told I have some pretty good looking calves. Well, located just south of those hot things are some of the ugliest feet walking on God's green earth. Both of my big toes point inward and constantly have a buildup of dead skin on them. I try to maintain them but sometimes it's just too much work. I've untinentionally freaked many people out upon the removal of my socks.
-- I dance to the following songs in my car: Kelly Clarkson's Walk Away, Beyonce's Crazy in Love, and Keith Urban's Better Life.
-- As a sophomore in high school I was invited to the prom by a junior. The tuxedo I wore was completely white, with splatter painted purple cumberbun and bow tie. White shoes as well. At the last minute I realized I had no white socks so I had to go with black. And my pants were too short, they came to about an inch above my ankle, revealing the black socks. Next time I'm in Chandler I'll try to get a picture of it to share with you.
-- When I was about six or seven my sister pinned me to the ground and wouldn't let me get up for over an hour. I told her I'd get her back when she least expected it. About a year later I hit her over the head with a metal lunchbox and said "See, I told you, I'd get you back when you least expected it.
8 comments:
Hahaha! Hilarious! You hold a long-term grudge. But your feet are not the ugliest, trust me. I have dead skin, piggy-backing pinky toes, and webbed toes... yes, webbed toes... It was a hell of a childhood at the neighborhood pool, I assure you.
haha when i was little my friend pinned me against a brick wall and beat me with a wiffle ball bat. i've never sought revenge but maybe i should, that lunch box idea sounds awesome.
I'm wondering....most of your anatomy vignettes have been about all parts "south of the border" (if you know what I mean?). Is there something more to this particular pattern we should know and/or be concerned about?
that's A GREAT STORY.
hilarious. my friend, hilarious. see ya tonight!
craig, if i come to UBC this Sunday, can i sit with you and your folks since i kinda don't really know many folks there? i'd like to hear Rob Bell.
yep, me and my folks would love for you to sit with us.
I hope I never do anything to piss you off.
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