Monday, April 17, 2006

I got the message a couple of hours ago that my writing group will not be meeting tonight since no one, except for me, has written anything to be reviewed. This is a good feeling because a.) It's nice to have a Monday night free just to rest and b.) I'm normally the one in the group slacking off on the writing.

My Mondays are always full beginning with work in the morning, my afternoon racquetball game (which today changed into tennis) with Nathan, and then the writing group. It's always very tiring but inwardly energizing. Mondays make me realize how much my life has changed in the past six months.

In the past I always shunned the idea of casual friendship. Everyone around me seemed to be fairly close to tons of people while I KNEW tons of people but only wanted to be close to a relative few. I decided quickly if I wanted you to be my friend and I pushed hard to make it happen. (Unlike some girls I know of who had long discussions with each other trying to decide if they wanted to be each other's friend-- like a job interview.) I didn't want here and there, circumstantial conversation. I wanted depth and I wanted intimacy and I wanted it now.

In the months since Kyle died and Jason and Tim moved away, a new world has opened up to me and I am learning to recognize it for the blessing it is. I am seeing that for friendship to be authentic it doesn't necessarily have to be constantly in-your-face and deep. My time with Nathan and the guys in my writing group and the people I have dinner with every couple of weeks has not deepened but widening my perception of what it means to be in relation with someone else. It has expanded how I view love.

I still have my few who anchor who I am and in whom I find my deepest identity as a person. But now I have many more who constantly make waves and toss me about and show me that there is nothing wrong with having friends you primarily play with and others you primarily laugh with and still others you primarily work with. It is these people you see once in a while that make you realize how God shows himself to us in community-- One person and one experience at a time.

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(In the process of writing this I've been informed by Ben that I haven't shared any funny stories lately, that I've become serious Craig. I'll sleep on that and try to bring something silly tomorrow.)

1 comment:

Melissa said...

So how do you meet such people? This is a serious question as I'm in desperate need of some new people to hang out with and...I got nothin.