Sunday, November 06, 2005

I could be wrong, but I get the impression that many of you are waiting for me to post something before you move forward. Well here's something, so move forward.

What can I say? There are times when I am with people or alone and I feel peace. I feel that, well, it's a tragedy, but maybe things will be ok. Worship this morning grounded me. It reminded me Who my trust is in. Being with my church family at lunch and laughing with them and making plans together was refreshing. Those things happen.

And then the night comes.

The night comes in the afternoon and in the morning and at night and, really, whenever the hell it pleases.

I then realize that things actually may not be ok. My best friend is gone. There are three kids without their daddy and a wonderful lady without her husband.

Rest assured and don't lose heart-- I do not blame God. The person who has helped me get through Kyle's death is Kyle. The God Kyle worshipped, the God Kyle modeled and who I adopted because of Kyle, is a God who does not cause all things to happen, but allows us to live in a world where fatal accidents happen and who grieves with us.

All I can say is what David has said...

"Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
Amd Lord the dark is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here awhile

And didn't you see me crying?
And didn't you here me call your name?
Wasn't it you I gave my heart to?
I wish you'd remember where you set it down."

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