More Pushing Through.....

So I've decided to at least try to become a better writer. And I'm not in it to get published. I think. I really need a craft. In high school I had music but after that there has been absolutely nothing I knew how to do.

The reason I'm telling you this is because I looked at "Bird by Bird," one of my all time favorite books, and read the chapter on writers block where Ann tells us that maybe the problem isn't writers block but rather the fact that we're empty, like when your spouse locks you out of the house the problem isn't with the door. The remedy to writers block, according to Ann, is to get down your 300 words a day and go about living.

So I'm going to try to write every day, no matter what kind of crap I put down.

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Why I Go to UBC....

As I mentioned a few posts ago there was a critique of my church on one of those satirical publications certain college students put out that give them the self-impression of legitimacy. You know, like blogs. (You see how masterfully I did that? I expressed my disdain for those people, and yet anticipated the backlash that would come from intelligent people who see my double standards. So I affirmed my double standards and, in effect, one-upped those that would critique my critique. Applause accepted.) Anyway, I must say that the article was very well thought out and the writer seems very bright. Although I feel that his/her conclusions defeats his/her argument, I still respect whoever wrote it. They obviously have a background in philosophy and reformed theology that make them especially equipped in engaging in a conversation concernign anything in all of reality and the ability to set themselves up for victory by using the fine art of framing the conversation. I respect people who can do that. Seriously.

Before getting to the stuff I intended to write, let me just say this interesting thing I noticed from the publication. (http://www.theoathen.com/) When trying to explain why they remain anonymous they come up with some lame ass answer that by removing their names and using fake ones they are then able to create a discussion that is about the ideas put forth and not about the personalities behind those ideas. Well that's all fine and good if we're living in a perfect Platonic universe that allows thoughts and selves to be independant, but that's not the way things work down here in my world. You can never divorce an idea from the person supporting it. And the nature of language requires that the person using the language be held accountable to the words said. Which can't be done if you're anonymous. So, in the meantime, someone can voice a whole world of ideas and protect themselves from the deconstruction of those ideas by another person.

Not sure if that made sense to you. It did to me. But I came up with it, so of course it would.

Anyway, to speed this up because I've got to go to bed so I can be at work tomorrow at 7:00 and be done with errands in time to watch friends, I need to get to the point.

This guy that I know of named Coleman who I don't think I've ever spoken to but who is friends with some of my friends and who looks really smart and I think might be a little shy because he doesn't say much to me when I see him, quite often, at my place of work and who blogs and who, aside from looking really smart, also has the reputation of being smart and it just two clicks away from my blog by cliking "Jason" or "Myles" and then "Bending Faith" on either one of thoses blogs..... he references the UBC article and also makes some keen insight.

Which, you know, there seems to be an entire culture in which the sole purpose is to critique other people's churches. Not to say that I'm immune. I make fun of Antioch and other churches with the best of them. But that doesn't make it more right. Or wrong.

There's a million things that could be said about UBC that would be 100% honest and 100% accurate and 100% scathing at the same time. I'm aware of that. I think most of us there are aware of it. The average age is probably around 24. (My age brings that up quite a bit.) It's hard to escape the accusations of consumerism when you look at that statistic. It's also hard to find a brother or sister with much life experience there. The music is rock music, also adding to the accusations of consumerism and the impression that, because the music is loud, and good, then there is no theological or historical content in it. That would be a wrong assesment, but I can see where you might could come to that conclusion if you just walked in and heard "rock music" playing. Diesel Jeans, Common Grounds, people who hold progressive ideas to be cool, people who hold progressive ideas because they've thought a little about it, Fair Trade, Coldplay, Radiohead, Democrats, Green Party people, Greeks, Damien Rice and any other yet-to be known cool artist, Dallas and Houston suburbanites who drive SUV's and who only hold a part time job because it builds character and not because of financial need, Baylor, Baylor, Baylor, and more Baylor. All stereotypes that, in at least a small way, can be proven to be at least >50% true.

It all makes for an easy target.

(Trust me, I'm not setting us up to be a martyr here. I'm aware, and agree that, any instution is open to public scrutiny.)

But none of that crap, nor any of the theological, philosophical, or epistemological leanings of the church is why I get up on Sunday mornings and make the trek to 18th and Dutton to go to church. It might have been what drew me there, but it's not what keeps me there.

Why do I go to UBC?

-- There's a seat for me there. Ususally the same one. Over the years my space has become sacred. The world could crumble around me but I'll still have a seat there.

-- Erin, who grew up in a non-church background and was accosted by her Baylor roommates that she refers to as "The Poster Children for the Southern Baptist Convention," found a place at UBC to question God and to feel comfortable. We appreciate the art she puts on canvas and the smile she puts on our faces. And she'll always be the first to inform us when phrases we say are only understood by people who grew up in church.

-- I can place the word "Stuckey" in front of any noun I please and there will be people who understand me. And feel my pain.

-- At Coffee and Culture people who support abortion, oppose it, think the President is wonderful, think the president is scum, believes in predestination, believes cocaine should be legalized, thinks guns should be in the hands of every American, thinks all guns should be taken away, and who occupy any other conceivable spot on the cultural spectrum, all come together and talk and scream and yell and get offended and get challenged and change and get inspired to figure out what it really means to follow Jesus in this world-- and at the end of the evening walk out as friends. Family.

-- Even though Ben generally beats me at Warrio Stadium, I kick his ass on the Beach and Rainbow Road.

-- Wesley has this cool thing where she doesn't want to be noticed. And it's real genuine. So genuine she'd kill me for writing about it. But it makes me think about the many times Jesus spoke of humility and doing things in private and, most of all, about loving.

-- Matt Singleton can make you feel good just being around him.

-- You should hear Avery sing.

-- You should hear Avery scream. You'd think she was Job.

-- Most people LOVE me reading from my hometown paper. They think it's funny. But more than that, they see what it means to me and they oblige me the few moments it takes.

-- Lance and I aren't best friends, but I feel like he's a brother in the sense that our lives have ran pretty much parallel to each other.

-- The music really does rock.

-- You should hear some of the things Jamie says that puts me in stitches.

-- There are so many of us that have really messed up lives and create really messed up realities and crave attention and make big asses of ourselves. It makes me feel a special kinship with 12 other guys from a couple of thousand years ago.

-- Jude can say my name and Sutton loves to be cuddly.

-- John was afraid of kindergarten because of the big black people. He was honest. I prayed for him. He's almost made it through the year, about a foot taller and a year wiser. It's fun to see God work in the lives of his children over a years period.

-- Ben and Jamie have a secret nickname for me that hopefully will remain secret, as long as I don't make fun of them about anything.

-- There are some extemely smart and passionate people there who have a passion for being God's representative in this world and who take words of Jesus to be salt and light seriously.

-- Kyle and I have the best talks and laughs and nuances of conversation tones that are only understood by the two of us. He cares for me more than any pastor ever could. Perhaps my longing for belonging that was expressed in the previous post was most fulfilled by him being Jesus to me.

-- Jen takes care of me sometimes like a mom.

-- It seems I've fallen into a place where true, genuine, thoughtful and demonstrative love is expressed in microscopic ways.

-- I could go on.

-- And on.

-- And on.

-- But I won't.

But suffice it to say, critique is necessary. Critique is good. It makes you assess your motives and who you are and Who you are serving. But in the end you just have to shrug your shoulders and say..."Ok. Thanks for the imput. We will consider it. Now go about your merry little way and be fully in the place you are called bo be. We'll get back to our stuff, you get back to yours."