"They were gracious and affable in a disarming yet unsuave manner that made me think that they had recently discovered their social acumen."

That quote is from "Urban Tribes," the book I'm in the process of reading. The author uses it to describe a group of friends that he went to observe to gather information on his book, about clusters of relationships, or community, that exists among many post school/ pre family people between 18 and 35.

What an amazing way to describe someone and what a great description to aspire to. "They were gracious and affable in a disarming yet unsuave manner....."

gra?cious
adj.
1. Characterized by kindness and warm courtesy.
2. Characterized by tact and propriety
3. Of a merciful or compassionate nature.


af?fa?ble
adj.
1. Easy and pleasant to speak to; approachable.

suave
adj.

1 : smoothly though often superficially gracious and sophisticated

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I guess the things I value most make it into my blog.

On Change-- The Book Wars Continue

Last week I made it my project to revamp the Political Science/Current Events section at Barnes and Noble to gear up for a presidential race. And man am I proud of it. Six feature shelves, more space for more displays of books (I sound like a dork, I know.)

So here's what happened this morning, that happens every damn day at the store. Some jackass who is at least somewhat politically engaged walks by the rows of books, looks for the ones he disagrees with and either replaces them with one that reflects his or her mood or, even more profound, turns the particular book that he/she disagrees with upside down. As if a raging liberal is going to walk by, see Molly Ivins and Michael Moore's books turned upside down and say to themselves, "You know, these people really are upside down. I think I'm going to join the NRA and the GOP."

Well, this morning it was the liberals who struck. I noticed a group of three professional looking twenty-somethings, one guy and two girls, gathered around the section talking. Being someone who loves to eavesdrop on conversations I went over there to "work" on some stuff. To my dismay all of the conservative books-- Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Zell Miller-- were turned upside down. There were even entire stacks of books removed and put behind other books, so as to prevent them from being in full view. I was so pissed off at that moment. Knowing who it was who did it (it was 9:20 in the morning and these assholes were the only ones in the store,) I mumbled under my breath, but over my breath enough to be heard... "There's some real mature political statements being made here." At which point the three of them look at me, look at each other, and snicker a bit.

As you've probably noticed, I've worked at cleaning up my language slightly over the past couple of months. However, due to the circumstances, I'm going to have to say some things that might make my weaker brother stumble. So if you consider yourself a weaker brother (or sister) and are offended by certain words, I'm going to have to ask that you stop reading right now.

I wanted to look at these dickhead bitches and bastard and say "You damn fucking bastard and bitches! Who the fuck do you think you are, coming in here turning these books upside down, you dumb fucks!"

It was their arrogance that pissed me off. Because when I was eavesdropping I heard them discussing how closed minded their parents were in choosing to be Republican and that any intelligent person could see how horrible Bush is for our country. It wasn't their statements that bothered me, but rather the air of superiority they had about them. I get pissed off at Republicans who do the same thing.

Here's what one of the bitches said about her parents, "They just don't like change of any kind...."

Which brings me to my final thought on change-- Why do many in my generation consider this a legitimate argument when trying to prove someone wrong, that they just can't stand any kind of change. What is really being said is that these people are stupid because they don't want to change in the way I want them to change.

You know, we are all so closed minded, even those of us who pride ourselves in not being closed minded. I know very few people who know where they stand on things, but are still confident enough in who they are tho where they don't have the need demoralize and paint people as being stupid and old fashioned.

Which reminds me of this other quote from the book, which I'll close with. He is speaking about people who feel their groups of friends are good for them, but the truth seems to me to be relevant in other areas: "Of course everyone who told me about their groups thought the world of their friends and all the fun they had together. But just because these people attested that the tribe years were good for them didn't mean they were. People have been known to claim all sorts of things were good for them (macrobiotic diets, law school) only to realize later that they had fooled themselves. Because we cannot see the paths we have not taken, we become, by default, advocates for the path our life is on."