Sunday, June 04, 2006

Thanks to everyone who has sent emails and called during my two week funk. A lot of stuff had to do with my work situation. But reflecting on things I've realized it's more than that. The past few weeks have ushered in the first summer without Kyle. Summers with Kyle meant sneaking away to movies in the middle of the day and playing hours on end of Mario Cart at the church. Margaritas and hanging out at the pool and getting away to his family's ranch on the spur of the moment. Everything that makes a good Kenny Chesney song was what went into being friends with Kyle in the summer.

There's an interesting thing about this process of grief. During the first few months after the accident I would cry and feel extreme anguish over Kyle's absence. But I'm slowly starting to realize that a lot of the pain now has to do with his presence. Weird, isn't it? There was a time several months ago when just the mention of his name in conversation caused all our eyes to well up and throats totighten. Now we talk about him as if he'll just walk back around the corner any minute now. It all seems a little backward to me. But hey, I didn't invent the rules. I just have to live with them.

7 comments:

Melissa said...

"Everything that makes a good Kenny Chesney song was what went into being friends with Kyle in the summer."

The first Kenny Chesney song that popped into my head after I read that was "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy." In context that's a bit disturbing.

Craig said...

yes, i should have clarified and said everything that makes a good kenny chesney summertime song.

Lisette said...

I have Mario Cart for the GameCube if you need to play it...

Jordan said...

craig...i hear ya loud and clear. tonight our car died in rosa's parking lot and i told blair to call ben at the church and see if someone could come pick us up. when i imagined it in my head, though, i saw kyle sticking his hand straight up in the air saying "i'll do it!"...that guy would do anything to get out of garage sale stuff.

Craig said...

jordan, that's hilarious. he totally would have done that.

when i first got to the church this evening the first thing i said was "is it time to go get snow cones yet?" jamie was the only one who heard me and we had a good laugh at kyle's expense.

Katy said...

Unfortunately for me, my experience with Kenny Chesney (at a concert, actually) resulted in a little thing I like to call a MIP. That's right, Katy got a ticket for minor in possesion of alcohol. I was a rebel back in the day.

Katy said...

Unfortunately for me, my experience with Kenny Chesney (at a concert, actually) resulted in a little thing I like to call a MIP. That's right, Katy got a ticket for minor in possesion of alcohol. I was a rebel back in the day.