This blog interview thing seems to be all the rave right now, kind of like Mambo #5 was a few years back. But I'm jumping all over it by answering the questions that Captain Rob Sparrow asked me. I think the best thing about being a celebrity wouldn't be doing whatever it is you do but to give interviews. That would be cool. So here I am. Being cool.
1.Where do you see yourself in 10 years and what will you be doing?
I'm notorious for not taking the long view of things. I spent the biggest part of my 20's moving from place to place every year, without thinking about what the next five or ten years might bring. All that to say this is probably the first time I've been asked this question that I've been able to give it some thought and come up with a pretty solid answer.
In ten years I can see myself still living in Waco. I'm not sure what I'll be doing, but there's an equal chance that I'll be a.) working at Barnes and Noble (hopefully in a higher and more well paid position, b.) teaching high school (I've lately been thinking of going back to school to really get certified and be intentional about being a good teacher.) c.) Teaching English or History at a community college (assuming I go back and work on a Masters.) d.) Being a career writer that everyone quotes or e.) Owning a bowling alley and running a used bookstore inside of said bowling alley and hanging out with my good friends Ed, Carol, Mike, Nancy, and Molly (aka Kyle, Jen, Ben, Jamie, Jason and Chisty and Blake and Karla (if I'm lucky.)
I will weigh 180 lbs., have well defined biceps and washboard abs, have a wife of five years who I submit to on a daily basis, three kids-- Joe, Ruby, and Coleman, a four bedroom house in Lorena or Robinson, and will be spending my Friday nights in the stands of a football game.
2. If you could go back in time and change any event in history that you wanted what would you choose to change and why?
I would have said screw the distance, I'm driving all the way to that city to ask her out.
3. You can spend a day with any five people that have lived past,present,or future and do whatever you want for the whole day...who would you chose and how would you spend the day?
I'm going to cheat on the five people part of this question because I couldn't narrow it down to five. But I also like the number five because six (including me) is the perfect number. So my list will include Robert, Jason, Christy, Blake, Karla, Kyle, Jen, Marvin Slaton, Tony and Melissa Herring, Brent, Susan, Casey, Luke, and Rachel Ray. Pick any five out of that group.
We would pick a place near Caddo Lake to go camping. The weather should be cold, in the 20's, and we'd all quickly retire to our tent, one that would hold all six of us. (This isn't turning dirty, just in case youre hopes were being aroused.) We'd stay up late talking about anything and everything. From midnight to about 3:00 a.m. there would be periods when the quietness would be interrupted by someone saying "are you awake," at which point the conversation would start back again. We'd all fall asleep around 3:00. At 5:00 we'd all start to wake up miserable from being uncomfortable and cold and decide to head back to the cabin we had rented.
I would make a breakfast of bacon, eggs, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, and dr. pepper for everyone. Around 7:30, stomachs full, we'd head to the living room where we'd lounge around on couches and in sleeping bags. Tony Herring would start playing his classical guitar, lulling us all to sleep.
Oh yeah, it's still cold and it has started raining very hard.
We'd wake up around 11:00 to watch Napolean Dynamite or three or four TIVO'd episodes of Ed.
In the early afternoon we'd spend at least an hour around the telephone listening to Robert make prank phone calls and coming up with suggestions for who he should call next.
By this time it has stopped raining so we decide to go outside to play a game of football. We then come in to play a game of trivial pursuit. After the game we take a nap (by now it's around 4:00 in the afternoon.) When we wake up we shower (seperately) and go out to dinner-- mexican food, margarita's, karoake bar next door.
And that's my day. I know it's pretty detailed and long but it's actually a composite sketch of some of my best days ever.
4.Which member of your family do you most identify with? least identify with? elaborate as much or as not so much as you wish.
I most identify with my grandmother because when she was living we both felt that, in our family, we were the only sane people surrounded by a room full of crazies.
I least identify with my sister.
5. This book you are writing, what do you want to accomplish with it and at this juncture can you let us know a bit of what it is about?
The only initial thing I hope to accomplish is to finish it. I'd be lying if I said I don't think about it being published, but at this point it's far from publishible (or publishable?) so I'm just focusing on writing.
Initially it was going to be a collection of biographical essays about my entire life. As I started writing the first chapter (which ended up being the introduction) I realized that I could write and entire book full of stories about my life in church and church-related institutions. So that's what it's going to be about. My life and experiences as a person who has spent his entire life in church.
So there you go.