H-E-B made a fool of me and if it weren't for their superb selection of coffee, trail mix, and fig preserves, I would be so done with them right now. First they get rid of the Chinese Kitchen, which should have been enough for them to loose my business, then this happens.

The biggest nuisance about shopping at the Wooden Acres H-E-B has always been that damned narrow bread aisle. Seriously, what is the one thing that EVERYONE buys? Bread, I'm telling you! And apparently bread is also the thing that everyone wants to purchase at the same time, for it is always the most crowded aisle. And, seriously, I love old people, but I never want to throw one of them under their moving buggies like I do when they are shopping for bread, reading the ingredients, smashing it to see the freshness, then moving on to every other loaf of bread in the store just to go back and purchase the first one they destroyed. It just really chaps my hide.

So I was in H-E-B a couple of weeks ago as they began their remodeling and what do my joyous eyes behold? An expanded bread aisle! The clouds lifted and the old people, perfect in voice and harmony, sang the most beautiful rendition of the Hallelujah chorus I've ever beheld. I went to work and told people of the expanded bread aisle. To everyone I saw I gave a great big embrace and shared the glorious news of the expanded bread aisle.

On Saturday night I got off of work around midnight and decided to do a little grocery shopping. I'm telling you, the devil was working her magic at the Wooded Acres H-E-B that night. When I arrived to the aisle to get my 12-grain bread and the previously mentioned fig preserves, Satan's minions were adding another row of groceries where the wide open spaces had previously been. Even worse, the damn bread aisle is MORE narrow than it was before.

I sung their praises and gave my friends the impression that they can shop for bread with more freedom than before. Some of them probably were so excited that when they need bread next they will think to themselves, "You know, I should really check out this expanded bread aisle at the Wooden Acres H-E-B." They'll get there and see the newer, more narrow bread aisle, and all my credibility will be lost.

I'm just too fed up to type any more.