Dear Nice Looking College Aged Couple I Was Eavesdropping on in the Religion Section Last Night as I was Shelving Books,
As far as population goes, Waco is by no means a small town. However it feels like a small town in that it operates by many of the same rules. I know a thing or two about the rules of small towns and I have the urge right now to take you to school on one of them.
Rule: Never speak negative words about a local church unless you know for certain there is no one within earshot who is a part of that church.
Your conversation went something like this:
Boy: Oh, look, they have Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell.
Girl: Who is Rob Bell?
Boy: He's this guy who preached at UBC a few weeks ago. I went and thought it was good.
Girl: I'm not quite sure what to think about UBC.
Boy: I guess it's okay. It's a good place to go if you want to be entertained, but you don't really get fed there.
Girl: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I'm not quite sure which church you visited, but you must not have stuck around very long, because I get fed there all the time. Before church there is ALWAYS doughnuts from Shipley's in the foyer. Regular AND Chocolate Glazed, along with free coffee from Common Grounds. Our Lovefeasts are LEGENDARY! Sometimes at our less formal gatherings Amanda has made this stuff that is a mixture of Cocoa Krispies, Marshmallows, M&M's, and peanuts. I like to call it Manna From Heaven. Katie makes some of the best cookies I've ever put in my mouth and Robert cooks up a taco that is second to none. If none of this is enough to convince you, I suggest you take a visit to the blog of one of UBC's most prominent faces, Matt Singleton, and count the staggering amount of times the word "food" is mentioned.
Don't get fed my ass.
I suspect, however, the possibility that you are not using the word "fed" in the same way I've been supposing. I am aware of this metaphor, as I was once one who used it often. Many put it this way: "I just want to be fed the Word."
I know churches who speak a lot of being "fed the Word," and trust me, most of them you don't want to get mixed up in. Many of the people who speak of being "fed the Word" do nothing with their lives but shit sentences that make no sense to the rest of the world and goes absolutely nowhere in changing lives or humanity. If you want that, have at it. I can even make a couple of recommendations.
But if you want a place to gather and pray, study the Bible, be profoundly affected by God, to make friends and do a LOT of eating, give us another try.
If you want, I'll even hold the spoon for you and play choo-choo train with the food.