Sick

It should tell you how horrible I feel that after seven years of not going to a doctor, I finally woke up this morning and decided I need to see one. Do you realize how hard it is to get seen by a fucking doctor these days? When I was a kid in Chandler, I'd wake up sick, mom would say "You're going to the doctor," we'd get in the car and drive to the doctor and thirty minutes later I had a shot or some medicine and I was feeling better. Today? "Yes we are taking new patients. We can get you in on November 30. Not good? Well, we have an opening on January 2, 2005." What the fuck! Just take me in, listen to my shit with your fucking instruments, and give me the goddamned medicine! How hard is that?!

So I finally, after calling literally 23 doctors, got someone to see me at 11:00 today. I was calling from a list from my insurance company. After I got the bitch on the other end of the phone to let me in, and thanked her, and hung up, I looked at the doctors information. M.D. good. University of Texas..... good. Graduation date 1946..... oh my God. I'm about to go see some eighty year old doctor. Unless this guy tells me that Doogie Howser M.D. was based on his life, I'm not going to feel good about this.

Sometimes it just feels like the world is going my way (see myentries from around the end of October,) and sometimes the world just seems to be going to shit. This is one of those going to shit times. I feel as if I've lost my way.