"This sure doesn't feel like island living."

Some of the most spiritual moments occur in my life when I find myself having been smiling for some time without really consciously noticing it. That happened this evening when I was watching "About a Boy." It's a wonderful movie. All about a guy who really believes his life is better without any meaningful human relationships, until he opens up his heart to a boy that needs a sort of father figure.

Well, my day of vacation is about over. I need to get some rest. Long day tomorrow. 9-1 I'll be in some sort of training. I go home and come back at five until we close. I'll be worn out.

Well, Jason called and said he isn't coming. He did the Jason thing and made it look like my fault that he's not coming, since I didn't call him this morning. I think he wants to go home to see his family, which I understand. You've got to do what you've got to do.

So, I have the afternoon free now. Perhaps I'll start working on a sermon. I'm preaching in October. And if the next few weeks are anything like the past few, I'll be real busy with other stuff.

This is my first day off since last Monday. I woke up this morning about 5 a.m., played on the internet for a few minutes, watched a Seinfeld that my friend Tivo recorded for me, went back to bed, woke up at 8, started watching my story (that would be, the E! True Hollywood Story) on Sam Kinison, also courtesy of Tivo, fell asleep about a quarter of the way through that, woke up around 10:00. I'm already a little refreshed.

Today should be fun, and interesting at the same time. My friend Jason Fortenberry is visiting. He's a pastor in South West rural Louisiana and a friend from my year of working at ETBU. Haven't seen him in probably three years.

Also interesting is the fact that Mark Penick will be in town at the same time. Mark, as I like to tell people, is the best friend I've ever had that I absolutely cannot stand being around. I'll actually consider it an accomplishment if I can make it through the day avoiding him altogether. He's here to speak to Jason's youth group. Probably about God's glory, or some shit like that. I saw Louie Gigleo Monday night. I don't need to see him again.

I'm going straight to hell, I know it. But at least Coffee and Culture is tonight, so there's a little redemption for me.

At this particular point in my life (that would be today) these are my favorite things, people, facts, ideas... in no particular order:

-- The Joe Schmo Show
-- The fact that my mom is going through a phase where every day she sends me one of those email cards, for no particular reason.
-- Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake at the Barnes and Noble cafe'.
-- Susan Matthes is back in America.
-- Illuminate.
- Especially How Great, Intoxicating, and Revolutionary Love.
-- Next week, "Ed."
-- Kyle, Jen, Avery, Jude, Sutton.
-- Brent wants me to read a book with him.
-- Next month, vacation.
-- Thinking about cold weather.
-- UBC.
-- Tomorrow Fortenberry is in town.
-- Thinking of growing old.
-- The situation with you know who and you know who.
-- Ben blogging. (You rock!)
-- Kent Haruf has a new book in a few months.
-- Being able to say "a few months" and it no longer feeling like an eternity.
-- Freedom from ambition.
-- Shema.
-- The fact that I haven't had to go grocery shopping in more than a week.
-- Freedom to explore and experience irony.
-- Freedom from irony.
-- New boldness to share feelings.
-- You.

I am a Christian.


I had some friends, old and new, come over after church for leftover taco soup. When they went home, I was left in the den in a very introspective mood. Listening to Sarah MacLachlan's "Building a Mystery" and David Crowder's "Open Sky," I came to this wonderful conclusion..... I am a Christian, and I'm totally ok saying that now. For several years I have not been comfortable saying that. Fear of being identified with certain groups of Christians kept me from proclaiming who I am, even to myself. I made up all kinds of cute little phrases like "I consider myself a follower of Christ," or "I am someone seeking God." But now, reflecting on how God has chosen to incarnate himself to me in the context of His people, I can say, unashamedly "I am a Christian." To be sure, I'm not like every other Christian. In fact, it's quite possible that I'm not like any other Christian. But that doesn't take away from this fact.... I have made a choice, responding to God's initiative, to follow the ways of Christ.

I have been really into Roseanne Cash's new CD "Rules of Travel" lately. The title song spews profundity. The gist of it, and really of the entire album, is found in the line "I want even start before we learn the rules of travel in each others heart."

To live in a world and to be a person who could tell people what I want them to know. To have people who truly understand the rules of travel within my heart. For people to know how sensitive I really am. For people to know how left out I feel sometimes. For those who love me to know how to express their love for me.

It's really the only necessary thing.. to be loved. To be cared about. For someone to think about you when you are not in their presence.... to be genuinely concerned for your welfare. I'm extremely blessed to have those in my life who are like that.

My life begs to be musical right now. I grew up watching art and poetry and life being put to music through MTV. Sometimes reality isn't like that, but imbedded within who I am is the desire for that reality to be true.

Maybe we could see how love is in our midst
If the music in our heads were transferred to our friends.