Back to the Quilt....

It's been a long time since I've just blogged a hodgepodge of what has been going on. Lately I've felt the need to be a little more bold with my writing which, in turn, has caused me to write less. So now I sit down at the table (not Jason's) with no pre-planned agenda. Just whatever comes to my mind.

Violence

I know people, around 2, who are true pacifists. They believe violence should never, under any circumstances, be considered an option.

Today I mentally planned out violent acts against a lady I know not.

I'm standing at the information desk at work. This lady comes up with her daughter, or granddaughter (the lady was of the age and the type that suggested the girl could be considered either,) who was probably about four or five and totally adorable. It looked like she had just got up from a nap. The side of her faced had pillow marks and her hair was a little messed up. She was a little cranky. All that suggested to me that, yes, she just woke up. As the lady was standing there, the little girl started to whine about something. The lady says "Stop whining and fix your hair. You look ugly. You always look ugly."

At that point I was thinking that holding the lady by her hair and dangling her off the top of a building while demons slowly and meticulously cut her body up into thin slices with razor blades, all while others are spraying alcohol on her body, would have been a completely appropriate response to the bitches behavior.

People like that should be shot. I know some of you will say that it is probably because of some pain this lady is feeling that makes her do that to the girl. To that I say, you might be right, but I don't give a shit. Kill the bitch.

I know that my opinion on this isn't the most Christian, and I might spend a few days in hell for thinking it, but it's hard for me to get past the human tendency for retribution.

Somewhat Unrelated....

I think that one of the greatest needs we all have is the need to belong. We'll do anything necessary to fulfill that need. We'll posture and pray and manipulate situations and act cool or act suave or act uninterested or act smart or act aloof, all for the purpose of belonging.

As I was walking from my car to my door tonight in the dark, cool, breezy night, that's what was on my mind. It was quite but my thoughts were musical. You know those special times don't you? I hope you do. I hope you've experienced those times of self reflection when people and ideas and the past run past your mind and you feel as if you are creating a music video of your life and worldview within the recesses of your mind. And you wish others could understand how special that moment is to you. You wish they could belong in your world the way you want to belong in theirs. And so you sing in your own special way. You sing with simple breaths. You sing with a smile. I sing with my memory. And those moments are special. They don't happen often, but enough to keep you going. Enough to give you 14th and 15th winds. Enough to carry you along until the next time you are in the presence of your friends.

And so my song will have to do me until we see each other again.