Like many people, I've spent the past few days thinking about both the old and new years. Last year was not my best. In many ways it was worse than 2006, where I spent the majority of my time grieving the death of Kyle. I spent 2007 bitter. Circumstances and movements on at least two fronts of my life gave me the opportunity to respond with love and understanding. I refused, opting instead to harbor resentment and feel shafted. Not my best days.
This has aged me in ways good and bad. The gray hairs have sprouted like weeds, I'm not as healthy as I have been, and the amount of grumpy days are slowly catching up to the days of good moods and humor. But I've also lowered my expectations with people in such a way that has made me more able to see the work of God in their lives. In my youth, I always hoped for the best in people, which left me disappointed time and again. I'm trying to learn to give people some slack.
I'm not sure if you can call it a resolution, but I'm going to try to relax more in the coming year. I read an interview recently with Anne Lamott in which she was asked if she ever wished that there were more hours in the day. She said no. She lives her life with a liberal amount of margin. A few hours of her day is spent working. The rest of the time is spent just hanging out with her son, taking long walks with her dog, and spending a lot of time on the couch watching the news and reading gossip magazines. She says she has plenty of hours in the day to do all she needs to do, and there are still a lot left over. In this new year I'm going to try to create a similar situation.
There is one resolution I have made, and it scares me a little. I've spent the last several years obsessing over this blog. I have loved the way it gives me a forum to air my thoughts and in some cases reconnect with many of you from all over. I will continue to try to use it to improve my writing skills and to express my opinions. (It is an election year.) But sometime a few months ago Jen Alexandar left me a succinct little bit of advice on my comments section, and I have decided to heed it. She said I should write more and blog less. So keep checking in, but don't' be surprised if there are only one or two posts a week. In the meantime, I'm going to make my latest of many efforts in writing a book. There was a writing group I was involved in a couple of years ago that will be meeting again this spring, and I'm hoping it'll a good catalyst for me to get stuff done.
I hope you all have a great year. I'm going to do my best to try to get out of town and visit friends more this coming year.